How to Structure a Feedback Conversation

A recurring theme when working with people leaders is feedback. And just how difficult it can be to get right!

Leaders know that giving timely, evidence-based, future focused feedback and leveraging that feedback to build skills and capability is the key to bringing people along and building great teams.

But knowing this doesn’t make these conversations any easier and they can be the source of much anxiety. How to give clear, firm, effective, possibly negative feedback and feel ok about it afterwards?

The answer is in the preparation. Planning what to say but more importantly how to say it can lead to a conversation where you say what you need to in a way that won’t make you feel you’ve been over critical, fussy or unfair to your team member.

How to Construct Critical Feedback.

Identify the gap, weakness or performance issue.

Accept that this is your side of an equation where your team member will have their own facts and arguments to be used in response to your critique.

Treat your opinion as a starting point to an inquiry.

So don’t lead with definitive statements of criticism (it was/you shouldn’t/it wasn’t/you can’t).

Lead from your observations and ask them about the work (I noticed/what was your thinking/tell me about/how did you).

Continue with dialogue. As you ask a question, listen to the response and keep asking questions. Be guided by your curiosity about the work and how it was completed.

Ask open questions to tease out the issue. What/how/when/where.

Your goal is to help your team member learn and improve by identifying the issues with their work, challenging their thinking and guiding them towards better solutions or different approaches in the future.

When this works, they own their solution and new way of thinking.

Future Focused Advice and Guidance

There should be a significant mentoring aspect to a feedback conversation. You can add so much to someone’s learning if you share your expertise, experience and knowledge of the work and organisation.

If you have been able to use questions and curiosity to allow your team member own the issue and the possible solutions, think of what further guidance you can offer that will help them with the same or similar work and enhance their performance.

Continue to take the same approach.

Try not to tell them what to do.

See if you can frame advice as suggestion.

The difference between “what you need to do is…” and “have you considered doing ….” can be profound.

In the first, you’ve issued a mandate. So, it’s yours and they are less likely to ever make it theirs.

In the second, you’ve invited them to consider an alternative. If they consider it and if they accept it, it's theirs from the start.

So, far more likely they will adopt it and improve how they approach and deliver the work.

And seeing that final bit happen (over time) should make you feel a lot better about the feedback conversation!