How to be Optimistic

The essence of optimism is not about whether your general outlook on life is that of an optimist or a pessimist. Both pessimistic and optimistic outlooks need to be tempered with realism and be based  on evidence. Not all things turn out well, so it’s not helpful to think that they always will. Conversely, many things will turn out better than expected, so it’s good to be open to a more positive outlook.  

Leaving aside outlook, something that is worth developing is how you respond to difficulties and challenges because there’s research indicating that cultivating a more optimistic than not response to life’s difficulties is beneficial.

So instead of focusing on what kind of person you are, pessimist or optimist (or neither!) ask instead how can I optimise my responses when things go wrong.

Things do go wrong and pessimists know this. Optimists also know this - they are not reality deniers, they just tend to have more effective strategies for dealing with and responding when things go wrong.

In analysing and responding to a difficult situation, these guiderails can be useful:

• Look for the benefits of the situation. Don’t deny the problem, but look to see what you can salvage, or how you can use the experience or otherwise leverage the situation to do something worthwhile.

• Take the lessons and use them. This follows from the first item. After the dust has settled, take a calm and structured look at what went wrong and why. This is not about blaming or shaming. It’s about using the experience to build a better system or process or plan so it won’t happen again.

• Focus on the substantive issue. If you keep focused on the issue rather than what you’re feeling about it, you can work more effectively. Don’t ignore your emotions, but separate them out from the issue itself because they need to be processed in their own ways.

• Don’t take it personally. So easy to say, so difficult to do! But keep trying and eventually it becomes easier to separate out the issue from you and your identity.

• Look carefully at the causes of difficult situations. Try to see the different elements and then see what you might do differently next time.

• Look for growth and development in challenging situations. We are the sum of our experiences, so it stands to reason that the more complex, difficult and challenging experiences we have dealt with, the better we are at what we do.